January 2011
28 posts
State of the Union. 2011.
Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:
Tonight I want to begin by congratulating the men and women of the 112th Congress, as well as your new Speaker, John Boehner. And as we mark this occasion, we are also mindful of the empty chair in this Chamber, and pray for the health of our colleague – and our friend – Gabby Giffords.
It’s...
He Who Must Not Be Named
Me: Go Voldemort!
Me: Whoa! Phone made Baltimore into Voldemort!
Dad: DON’T SAY HIS NAME. HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED.
Crafty
Mom: Your friend Lauren’s Mom facebook friended me. If I reject it will she know?
Me: Yeah she will.
Mom: That crafty bitch.
Observations
Dad: Its so awkward when ur somewhere eating by yourself and someone else eating alone is in front of you, facing you…its like, Oh hello
This totally happened to me tonight.
Sarcasm
Mom: Clean the kitchen and den before I get home.
Me: I’M ON IT!!!(:
Mom: Grounded. For yelling (excessive use of exclamation points) and sarcasm (smiley face)!!! Love you:)
A1 for Waffles
Mom: Do you want waffles or muffins for breakfast? Just text “A1” for waffles or “B1” for muffins.
Me: Why did you go through all that trouble? Why can’t I just text “waffles” or “muffins”?
Mom: We are texting in code! ;););) :)
Me: Waffles
Mom: A1 or B1?
Me: WAFFLES
Mom: Sooo…A1?
Me: Mom. Yes.
Mom: I think I would rather have muffins. I’m making muffins
Vibrated
Mom: Your phone just vibrated.
Mom: It just did it again.
Ask me anything...
Amber Alert
Mom: Just got an Amber Alert text. Be on the lookout for a 1998 Red Ford Taurus, license place DXM 284.
Me: Why do you get those things?
Mom: So I can help fight crime! I’m one of the good guys!
Hehe.
